August 15th, 2009 was the date of the Eric Sickels Memorial Golf Tournament. This was an event to commemorate the life of my big brother and to enjoy the other people that also loved him very very much. Our family from Florida even flew to Iowa to be there. It was a wonderful surprise. We truly have the best family in the world.During that time in August, I began to think about something seemingly unrelated. Are we going to have family pictures? You see, before Nikita came to live with Andre and me, my side of the family got some family pictures taken. Nikita was not there. My mom told me that we were not going to get another family picture taken until we were "all together." So, now what? Nikita is here. But we are not "all together."
After the unexpected death of a person so close, you begin to have to make a new "normal" for your life. You have to adapt. I must say, some days I don't want to adapt. But as we move forward, I realize that we will get our family picture taken at some point. God is still God and He's with us always, and Eric is too in some way.
On October 16th, 2008, my big brother passed out of this world and into the next. In August, we celebrated a life that encompassed so many wonderful adjectives like devoted, caring, loving, hard-working, smart, passionate, and many more.
As we turn the calender to October 2009, I can safely say that I'm not sure how I feel. There have been days when I don't really think about him much. And there are days that I ache with the pain that I will never see him on earth again. There is much that he will miss and many times that I will feel there's just something missing.
However, in the midst of all of this, I think about the movie Rudy. I think about how no matter what, that little guy kept going. When he almost quit, others came along beside him and pushed him forward. In the end, he was the only Notre Dame football player to ever be carried off the field. He persevered. And by golly, so will we! We will continue to love, we will continue to live, we will continue to believe that God is good and that He loves us more than we can imagine. What has happened is so awful, but it will not overtake us. Oh, may God make some thing really good out of all of this. He will. He will.
